Wednesday, September 16, 2009


First up, I had artist hands today at school. They haven't been this dirty since, well, I was an art major and we were drawing with charcoal. I don't know I was so messy today with my pencils. I look like I've been high five-ing a chimney sweep.

Secondly, my toothpaste contains mini breath strips. It makes me giggle.

And now, for something that doesn't make me giggle.

Wednesday nights have officially reached a new and horrific low. The geniuses at the CW have decided to showcase models in not one, but TWO shows. You know a show is bad when America's Next Top Model looks pretty good in comparison. It's called "The Beautiful Life: TBL" and it is awful. First off, why add "TBL" to the end? Why not the beginning? Why do it at all? Unfortunately the title is just the beginning of the mayhem. Here's the recap of tonight's episode:

This cycle is made up of "petite" models, all 5'7" and under. How in the world would you make these freakishly short models look taller? HAVE THEM POSE WITH JOCKEYS! Jockeys! Seriously. All mocking aside, the pictures were kind of cool. But, before they could pose with Jockeys, the girls had to meet with the head of Wilhelmina modeling so he could determine their potential. One girl was sent home right then and there. She was the one who reminded me of one of the girls on The Soup but I couldn't find her picture so hopefully these will suffice:

Anyway. It was sort of sad because right before she was eliminated she said something along the lines of "I'm so happy to be here. This is such a great opportunity." Don't speak too soon, it usually doesn't bode well.

During the episode there were several of the girls who were acting, well, just about their age. Sundai and Erin were acting like dumb 18 year olds while Kourtney was acting like a dumb 18 year old despite the fact she is 22. Ouch. I like it when people who are adults, act like adults. Anyway, on with the episode. The girls posed with Jockeys and horses. I was sort of surprised it wasn't a bigger disaster, it is only week two, after all. My favorites Brittany, Kara, Nicole, and Laura all did well. They made up the top spots. Bianca (who is moving off of my favorites list) complained about her hair and looked really awkward in her photo. She was in the bottom two, again. But, once again, she made it to another week on the show. Hopefully being in the bottom two will knock the attitude right out of her (although judging from the previews for next weeks episode, the attitude is intact.)

And next up is "TBL." Oh, it was BAD. I guess that everyone has a space in their heart for a show/movie/music group/whatever that is just so bad it is hardly even in guilty pleasure zone. Well, I don't have enough room in my heart (or time in my schedule) for this show.

Here are my favorite cringe-worthy moments:

1. Zac Posen yelling, "I need a sew-er! I need a sew-er!"
Okay, so I realize that you, Zac Posen, are indeed a successful and real-life fashion designer, but calling a stitcher a "sew-er" is just wrong. What, are you next going to refer to your cutter/draper as a slicer/flinger? I could understand if the designer was untrained like Lauren Conrad but, Zac Posen? Last time I checked he was a legitimate designer who has been working for years. I mean, he studied at Central St. Martins for crying out loud! Do they have a research department? Who do the writers talk to when they are coming up with this garbage? Why didn't Zac Posen say anything? What the heck.

2. The run way finale.
I'm no fashion expert, but I've been reading fashion magazines for over a decade now plus I watched enough fashion shows on-line to believe the finale. I seriously doubt that it would allow for a model to just STAND there looking shocked while rose petals rain down. Seriously? Really? Double ugh.
(Special ughs are reserved for the dress and the styling. I would really like to know who is responsible for the clothing and styling for this show. I predict that if Stella McCartney was on the show, the geniuses would dress the models up in fur and send them down the runway in leather shoes. Yeah right like Stella McCartney would get involved with this.)

3. "Signature" runway walks
Once again, I'm no expert but past experience has shown that walking in a runway show with your arms swinging with wild abandon is NOT a good thing. Neither is stomping so hard that you look like your Jimmy Choos might punch a hole in the runway. Jay Alexander would totally have their heads. Just in case you didn't see the show, arm swinger is on the left and Stompy McStomperson is on the right. I'm not going to lie, they were really fun to imitate as I was telling my roommate about the stupid show. Did I mention the head flings by Stompy? It was almost as bad as McKey's signature pose.
4. Best. Quote. Ever.
Dude on the right is vacationing in NYC with his family who are from a farm town in Iowa. Farmer Dad is griping about the cost of the meal when he utters the quote of the night:
"We'll be paying off this family vacation for the next three harvests!"
My friend Lacy posted some awesome comments about a preview of this show. You can find it HERE!
Whoa. (I just wish I had a picture of the family and not of two of the model/stars. Nothing says farmer from the midwest like a plaid flannel shirt.)

The Glass Menagerie opens a week from tomorrow. HOLY CRAP!!!!

1 comment:

Sue said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only crazy person who has a love/hate relationship with ANTM!