Wednesday, August 5, 2009

I Hate Hidden Valley Ranch

Today had all of the potential to be a really great day. It started out well enough, I woke up early and went for a run and found a really cool path by a stream. After a shower and breakfast, I decided to have a Harry Potter movie marathon in preparation for the "Half Blood Prince" on Saturday. Sometime during the movie I decided to start eating some of the chocolate chip cookies I made yesterday. That was probably when it started to go down hill. Combine the cookie overdose with dribbling raspberry Crystal Light down my front and possibly staining my "Live United" tee shirt, and I wasn't feeling (or looking) too hot. I tried to remedy the situation by drinking more water and eating healthier food for the rest of the day. I also changed my shirt before I headed out to Wal-Mart to buy more allergy medicine.

Speaking of which, why is that whenever you go somewhere looking like crap you see someone you know? Some how I have managed to avoid this twice so far this year. The first time I went out with a coat over my pajama shirt (don't worry, I was wearing jeans, my first name is Lindsay but my last name isn't Lohan.) I was sure I would see someone as I tried to pass my pajama top off as a plaid shirt, apparently they were hot this past winter. But, I didn't see anyone. The cashier didn't even give me a weird look. It probably has something to do with the following facts:
  1. I live in Logan, land of flannel shirts, jeans, and hiking boots.
  2. It's a college town, there are some pretty sloppy dressers.
  3. It's Wal-Mart.

Anyway, this time I went out wearing a tee-shirt (not the raspberry splattered shirt from before) with track pants and my graffiti KangaRoos. I didn't see anyone I knew. I was actually a tensey bit disappointed because I haven't been really social today. Oh well.

Back to the day's events...I decided to take advantage of the fact that has a ba-jillion full episodes of "30 Rock" on their web side. Little did I know the price I would pay by watching several episodes (including my favorite one, guest starring, Oprah.) Rather than replay all of the commericals, the folks at NBC designate one sponsor per episode and play ONE COMMERICAL OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Unfortunately for me, I chose episodes that were mostly sponsored by Hidden Valley Ranch. That commercial makes me sick. You know the one I mean; it starts out with a carnival scene and everyone is eating vegetables dipped in Ranch dressing and having a great old time.

Not so.

  1. Cauliflower masquerading as popcorn just looks gross. The sick factor is upped by the shot of the girl dispensing ranch over the bucket of cauliflower like a soda jerk would dispense fudge sauce on an ice cream sundae (or a movie theatre attendant would dispense fake butter over a bucket of popcorn...I wanted to choose a less obvious comparison.)
  2. The tag line: "It makes vegetables delectable." It's probably the repetition alone but it makes me feel sick.
  3. The copious amounts of ranch dressing poured over the salad at the end? Disgusting.
  4. Did I mention that I don't think I can eat ranch dressing any more? It's far from my favorite dressing anyway but I think I'm going to abstain for a while

I just needed to get that off my chest.


Ellen Nicole Allen said...

Too true. Those commercials are not doing anything to help ranch dressing. Next they'll have people bathing in it.

Annie said...

I have HAD those days! Allergies...spilling food everywhere...going to Wal-Mart in your pajamas, praying you don't see anyone you know. Been there! I'm glad I'm not the only one who vents on my blog. I'm also glad I'm not the only one who can watch hours of television (I LOVE 30 Rock!) at a time.